To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA)

For my last blog, I just wanted to share a few words about a non-profit organization that I am very passionate about. What led me to want to share this is the effects that abuse has among its victims. Many people who are victims of abuse may develop alcohol and drug abuse, depression and anxiety, feelings of shame and guilt, poor self-esteem, suicidal behavior and self-harm, and much more (according to the reading Resisting Violence Against Women). I have been battling depression since 8th grade and started on anti-depressants in 10th grade. This past summer I went off of the medication, which resulted in a relapse right when school started. I was in a deep depression for about five weeks, which felt more like five months. I started back on the anti-depressants about a week after the relapse, but since the medication takes a while to fully be in effect, I was in the state of depression for a longer period of time. Having suffered from depression is a big reason as to why I am a supporter of To Write Love On Her Arms. I also know people who have or are still struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.

I'm a fan of To Write Love On Her Arms on Facebook, and almost every day they post a positive and hopeful quote as their status. Being the music freak that I am, I also notice the musicians who support this movement by wearing the t-shirts/accessories, talking about the movement and why they support it, and simply spreading the love.

At the bottom of this blog I posted TWLOHA's mission statement and the organization's main website. On their website you can find more information about the movement, along with many videos such as TWLOHA being included on CBS Sunday Morning's "Preventing Teen Suicide," which is also posted below. Towards the end of this video, the founder of TWLOHA explains how the movement started and the meaning behind it all.

As a side note, the founder of To Write Love On Her Arms, Jamie Tworkowski, will be at UW-Oshkosh on Wednesday, December 8th. The University Speaker Series is running this event.

MISSION

To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.


To Write Love On Her Arms (website)


TWLOHA on CBS Sunday Morning

Remember That

I'm not sure if all of you are aware how Jessica Simpson went country with her music a couple years ago, but here is an awesome song that is geared towards women and abuse. I'm not a huge fan of country music, but the lyrics in this song are great. Below is a video of Jessica Simpson explaining the meaning of the song, and also posted is the song.

Jessica Simpson talks about "Remember That"

"Remember That"

It doesn't matter how he hurts you... with his hands or with his words. You don't deserve it, it ain't worth it. Take your heart and run!

Face Down

I titled this blog after The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's song "Face Down." When we discussed this week's topic on violence against women in class on Tuesday, this song immediately popped in my head. I first heard this song back in high school, and although it is about a guy physically abusing a girl, I never really took it that way until I learned more about physically abusive relationships. I first related the song to me and how the guy I dated in high school would verbally abuse me. At that age, I didn't hear much about girls in physically abusive relationships. Therefore, when I would listen to this song, I basically thought of verbal abuse since it was what I personally experienced. Throughout the years I have learned more and more about the effects of physically abusive relationships, how to tell if someone is in one, and how to help someone/get help. A lot of this I learned in school, and some I've learned through the media (true stories in magazines and on TV, as well as movies and TV shows).

As I mentioned in class, the picture on 562 of "Is this what it takes to be a man?" relates to the lyrics in "Face Down" -- Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? I'm sure many of you would agree with me that it is definitely not manly to beat a girl around... I will never understand why anyone would want to hurt someone like that. The song goes on with Cover up with make up in the mirror/ Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again/ You cry alone and then he swears he loves you. This is showing how the girl is making excuses for the guy... and also how the guy apologizes and tells her he loves her after he beats her. Many girls give into that and believe that a guy will change, resulting in girls not being able to leave an abusive relationship. They may also be scared that they will get beaten even more if they try to leave. With the verbally abusive relationship I was in, I can somewhat relate. One day the guy I was dating would tell me how worthless and stupid I am, and then the next day he would apologize and tell me he didn't want to lose me. Of course those words of apology would overpower the hurtful words I heard the day before... just like the few good memories would overpower the many bad memories I had with him.

Physically abusive relationships not only result in bruises or cuts on the body, but permanent emotional damage. The bruises may fade, but the memories will last forever. This brings me to the point on treating everyone with respect. There are more people out there than you know who have been victims of an abusive relationship. Please take that into consideration and treat people you know and/or just meet with respect and kindness. You have no idea what someone has been through in the past. Reach out to those who are hurting, and never take the idea of an abusive relationship lightly.

Below is the video for Face Down.
"Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Now & Then

As I was reading A Brief History of Working Women, I started to think about how there are similarities between then and now when it comes to the working world. In particular, reading the section about white women reminded me of how the Amish are nowadays. There are quite a few Amish families that live around my hometown of Tomah, so growing up with that has made me become familiar with how they live. I also did a little research on the Amish, and found it interesting that the Amish movement was founded in Europe (the White Women section mentioned European women who came over to the USA). Like it was during the American colonial period, work is still closely identified with home and family life. The Amish do a lot on their own such as producing their own food rather than buying it, and making their own clothes. According to the reading, colonial families worked to reduce cash expenditures by growing vegetables in the kitchen garden and making the family's clothes, candles, soap and household furnishings. To me, it also sounds like the Amish! Not only do the Amish make their own stuff, but they do quality work as well. Many of their furnishings are sold in Amish and country stores. Some Amish also run businesses from their home... for example, on Hwy 21 there is an Amish home where they also do leather repair (I see the sign every time I drive to and from home). Amish are also very close with their family members and get to spend more time with each other since they aren't distracted by the television or computer.

When I compare the Amish to they way I live, I feel spoiled and somewhat lazy. Here I am driving my own car and getting to a destination within five minutes, while it would take an Amish family three times as long in a horse and buggy. Also, I am able to wash and dry my clothes within an hour and a half, whereas it would take them a day considering they need to hang dry their clothes. Much of what the Amish do is what many people did back in the day during the colonial times, and they truly know what hard work is. Although I am thankful for the technology we have, I feel as if we take it for granted on a daily basis. For example, when my Internet doesn't work, I get irritated... which is ridiculous because sometimes the only reason I want to go on the Internet is to check Facebook, and that is not an important part of life!

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and see what life was like then! I kind of did get a taste of it when I was a little girl and went to Old World Wisconsin with my family... check it out the website! :)

Old World Wisconsin

The Politics of Housework

When I read The Politics of Housework before class, I couldn't help but feel a little irritated. I understand that Pat Mainardi was writing about her experiences with her husband (and it was 1970), but I felt as if she was generalizing all men of being the same. The examples she gave about what she has heard men say about housework are things that I have never heard before. Growing up, my mom did the majority of housework such as dishes, laundry, dusting, etc... However, my dad also helped out quite a bit. He does the dishes, vacuums, and helps my mom out with whatever she needs. My dad also does pretty much all the work outside like splitting wood, hauling wood, mowing the lawn, raking up leaves, snow blowing our driveway as well as the neighbors' driveways, etc... I don't ever recall hearing my mom bicker about how my dad doesn't help out with anything, because in reality, he does a lot for the family. I personally think that the work my dad does takes a lot more energy, stress, and time. I can also say the same about my friends and their parents, since a lot of families I know live on farms, which requires a lot of work and help from the whole family.

Discussing this reading in class made me look at it from a different perspective. Instead of just looking at men and housework, I looked at roommates I live with and have lived with. I lived in an apartment last year with three other girls, and this year I live with three different girls. There always seems to be at least one person who doesn't want to clean and/or complains about having to help out. So it's not just the men that complain about housework... there are plenty of women out there who complain as well! I think we need to be thankful for all the work that men do do. A lot of the work they do is stuff we women wouldn't even want to attempt. Also, I personally like doing housework like cleaning and doing laundry. I feel accomplished afterwards, and it also helps reduce anxiety I feel when I am stressed. I don't know about you, but that's how I see it.

We are FaMiLy

This week's readings and discussions in class on family really got me thinking about what I used to think a traditional family is. My perspective of a traditional family has changed greatly since I was younger. I grew up in a house out in the country with my parents and my older brother. Because of that, I thought a more traditional family included a father, mother, son, and daughter... the dad is older than the mom, and the son is older than the daughter. It was also like that for the doll house I played with: my doll house characters lived in a big house, and the son looked older than the daughter. It never really occurred to me when I was 10 years old that there were families that lived in apartments instead of houses. I also thought it was different how my best friend had a younger sister instead of an older brother. I know, I know... this all sounds a bit ridiculous, but I was just used to how I was being raised. Of course now that I'm older, I am more aware of the different kinds of families out there.

After learning about the models of "head-complement," "junior partner/senior partner," and "equal partners," I took a look at my parents and realized that they fit under the junior partner/senior partner model. My dad is a mechanic for the highway department in the county we live in, and my mom is a 2nd grade teacher at one of the elementary schools in my hometown. My dad is always the one fixing stuff around the house and doing chores outside. My mom is the caretaker of the family and cleans up around the house from doing the laundry to cooking the meals. When my brother and I would get sick at school, my mom would be the one who would get called to come pick us up from school (this was also an example in the reading). My parents both have full-time jobs, but my dad's job is considered to be more important as to where he would rarely miss work. Also, he does work outside of his job by fixing vehicles that belong to our friends and family. Since my mom is a teacher, it's easier for her to ask off from work because a substitute teacher would be able to fill in. This is the reason why she was able to stay home with my brother and I when we would get sick.

If I were to get married in the future, I would like to fit under the junior partner/senior partner model like my parents... partially because that's what I grew up with! I also just want to be able to have my own job instead of just working at home.

Just Sayin'

I'm gonna throw it out there... yes, I am a Christian. Knowing that, you might be thinking: "Oh no, she's one of those" or "She probably hates homosexuals." Well, you couldn't be more wrong. I get so irritated when people label Christians as all being the same and having the same beliefs. Maybe the Bible does say that homosexuality isn't natural, but it does not give us permission to put any hatred toward those who are gay or lesbian. I often don't tell people I'm a Christian right away since they might automatically label me as being judgmental. I will admit that I do judge others at times, but I don't go to the extreme of disliking homosexuals. In fact, I have some friends who are gay and I don't treat them any differently than my heterosexual friends.  

I will admit that when I was in middle school, I didn't really accept homosexuality for a couple of reasons: 1) I went to a very conservative and strict Baptist church, and 2) I was young and didn't know much. In high school, my family and I decided it was best to change churches. We now go to an Evangelical Free church, where they accept anyone. I started to see the bigger picture of life and learned more about what goes on in the world (unlike at the Baptist church, where I felt sheltered).

The video we watched in class yesterday really opened up my eyes. It was touching to hear all of their stories, and parts were also sad. I thought one lady made a great point when she said, "Who would choose a gay lifestyle? It's a hard lifestyle." Homosexuals have a lot to deal with already, and making it hard for them to be able to have kids is heartbreaking. I could just see the love that all of these people had... the kind of love that many children need. Another woman also made a good point when she said, "I may love a woman, but that doesn't disrupt the love for my children." All these families have worked so hard to be able to have children of their own. I don't believe anyone would go through that much if they weren't serious about starting a loving family.

The couple who had the baby named Carter didn't think it was possible for them to have a healthy child. They were told that they would most likely end up with a special needs child. When they talked about that, it made me think back to reading Partners as Parents. In this reading under adoption, they mention "That gays are more readily allowed to adopt special-needs children raises an interesting question: why are the people who some label as 'unfit to parent' often given children needing the most care?" I definitely don't think that just because someone is homosexual, it means they are unfit to be a parent. This video we watched proves my point. All the couples showed great love to those around them, and to me, I think they will keep their families under a strong roof. As one lady put it, "I want my children to grow up to be nice and not judge." :) 

"You Are More"

This song doesn't relate to anything in particular that we've been learning during class; however, it's an uplifting song that I believe everyone needs to listen to. We all tend to look down on ourselves with stuff we've done in the past, and I just don't think people realize how great they really are.

You are more than the choices that you've made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You've been remade


This is one of my favorite songs by Tenth Avenue North, and just this week one of my friends showed me the music video... and it just blows me away. Pay attention to the words written on the chalkboard, and also pay attention to the lyrics!

Tenth Avenue North - "You Are More"

Girls Can Rock!

I had a feeling watching Girls Rock would make me want to be in a rock band... that usually happens whenever I listen to music, watch music videos, go to concerts, etc... It wasn't until I hit high school that I truly became what they call a "music freak." Don't get me wrong, I have always loved music, but I never really paid much attention to the lyrics and meaning behind songs until I got into high school. I also went through phases. In elementary school, I loved country music; middle school it was pop rock; high school it was mainstream music; and now, it's alternative rock.

It was interesting to see such young girls in this video to be so into heavier music, while I was into country and pop at their age. I like what The Girls Rock Camp had to offer for these girls. Not only was it about music, but they learned self-defense, how to treat other girls, and that it's okay not to have the answer to something at that very moment. This camp wants girls to feel powerful and to know that they rock! One thing that stuck out to me was something that one of the campers said. She mentioned the movies everyone sees, and how girls feel like they need to look perfect like the actresses in the movie... and if they don't look like them, then it's just too bad. It's sad that so many young girls turn to the media to see what they should look like to feel accepted in this world. Listening to some of the campers talk on the video, I noticed they realize that the media is evil, and they try not to follow the trend of trying to look flawless and glamorous. Now that's what I like to hear! :)

Since Girls Rock focused on empowering girls and using music as their medium, it made me go and listen to some of my favorite female fronted bands. A couple of them are Fireflight and Superchick. Below is the song Unbreakable by Fireflight. This song makes me feel strong and that I can overcome any obstacle I come across. The lead singer is also a hardcore rocker chick! Enjoy :)

Fireflight - "Unbreakable"

Halloween!

Halloween is just around the corner, and you know what that means: dressing up for fun as something/someone you aren't and go trick-or-treating! Wait a minute... college students don't go treat-or-treating anymore. Halloween used to seem so innocent when we were younger. All the little kiddies in elementary get excited to go house to house, dressed up all cute or scary, and receive bundles of candy. But it's different for the college aged folks.

Now that it's 2010 and we are all in college, Halloween seems to have a different meaning. College students all over are now excited to go to house parties and the bars to drink, and well, get drunk. I have seen so many Facebook statuses about how people are so excited to get wasted and trashed this weekend. Also, Halloween seems to be a competition for some girls with how sexy they look or how skanky their costume is. When did the part of innocence for Halloween disappear? I know we're older and more "mature," but it's sad to see the way some girls flaunt themselves. It's like Halloween is an excuse to do so.

I recently discussed this topic with my mom, and asked her about Halloween when she was in college. She said she never dressed up, but some of her friends did and they'd go trick-or-treating. She also added that she never noticed girls dressing scandalous. She said the sexy costume change didn't hit until I was in high school. Also, the drinking was a big thing, like it is now.

Anyway, I guess I just miss the feeling of excitement that I felt when I was a little girl around the time of Halloween. Here's a short video clip of some artists who talk about Halloween when they were younger. Watching this video and hearing what they said reminds me of how I was when I was younger. Enjoy! :)

ShockHound Halloween Tales

P.S. - Have a fun and SAFE Halloween!! :)

In Search Of...

I really enjoyed reading this selection because of how the author wrote. She was honest with her life experiences, but she wrote in a way that was hilarious and showed that she was confident with who she has become. This reading also made me think of how I grew up...

My mom never owned any Harlequin books, nor has she ever read one. The first time I noticed them was when I was in elementary school and went to the public library in my hometown. I probably picked a few up before just because I was curious as to what they were about because, well... the front covers are definitely "out there." I just never had an interest in actually reading them. I mean, let's be real... I was still reading Sweet Valley Jr. High books when I was in 9th grade.

For the author of In Search of the Elusive Orgasm, it was Harlequin books that made her fantasize about love, sex, and relationships. For me, it was the movies. In elementary and middle school, I watched Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movies. Their characters had no problem getting dates with guys, and of course there I was, the viewer, fantasizing about a hopeful relationship I would have with a gorgeous guy. It caused me to go all "gaga" over the jocks and preps in my class. By the time high school rolled around, I grew up quite a bit. I was no longer attracted to the jocks/preps, and I stopped watching movies that the Olsen twins were in. Instead, I moved on to movies more fit for the high school age group. However, the fantasizing wasn't over. The chick flicks I would watch made me daydream about the guy I would fall in love with... which of course was a guy I made up in my mind and came to realize when I got older that there is no such thing as a "perfect" guy. It has taken me thousands of chick flicks and a few years of my life to realize reality, and I'm okay with that. I am proud to say that I can sit through a girly movie and not fully believe in the fiction of it, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. They give me a small glimmer of hope that there is a guy out there for each of us girls.

Dove

I really liked all four Dove ads that we watched, but two in particular stood out to me: The Evolution of Beauty and Onslaught Ad. 

With The Evolution of Beauty, they prove to viewers that ads you see on billboards and in magazines are just airbrushed; and in reality, those models do not have the perfect skin that is being portrayed. When I was in high school, I wanted those flawless features. Deep down I knew that the pictures had been touched up, but I still wished to look like those girls. Now that I'm older, I look at pictures like those and have the reaction of "Yep, they're airbrushed." The quote at the very end of the ad sums up the media's actions with perfecting models in pictures: "No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted." So true.

On to the Onslaught Ad... this one was probably my favorite, mostly because of their quote at the very end. The images were somewhat disturbing and gross, but the makers of this ad really tried to get you to see the reality of how some people want to alter their bodies to look perfect. The word "perfect" seems to be used over and over when talking about the media. I feel as if every family needs to be aware of what the beauty industry is after... which is why this ad ends with, "Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does." It seems like such a simple quote, but to me it means so much more than simple.

"Broken Girl" + Take Back The Night

I went to Take Back The Night a couple weeks ago, and I plan on using this event to write my 3-4 page summary. This past weekend I purchased Matthew West's new CD The Story of Your Life. For this record, Matthew West asked people to send him their stories... and he turned them into a record. Every song on the album is inspired by the stories that he read.

There is a song that has relevance to Take Back The Night, which is Broken Girl. In the pamphlet that I got with the CD, Matthew West includes the lyrics to each song as well as an explanation. Here is his explanation for his song Broken Girl:


"I received a thousand stories in the first two days at the cabin. One out of every four dealt with a topic I wasn't expecting. I sat in there in shock as I read one story after another from women who had been the victims of sexual abuse in their childhood. This is the kind of thing that I knew existed in the world, but my heart broke as I read each story of innocence lost, guilt carried, and trust betrayed. I've never written a song out of the emotion of anger until now. This song is for all the broken girls who wrote to me. You know who you are, and I want you to know that it's not your fault! God loves you and you don't have to stay the Broken Girl." -Matthew West


I have never heard a song so powerful that spoke of the topic of sexual assault. This song really popped out to me because Take Back The Night took place only a couple weeks ago, so I thought it'd be good to share. The message in this song is uplifting and also a good reminder that no one is worthless!

Here's the link to the song on YouTube. It also includes the lyrics.
"Broken Girl" by Matthew West

"You're not the worthless they made you feel. There is a love they can never steal away... and you don't have to stay the broken girl."

Hold That Nose

After reading Hold That Nose, it really got me thinking about insecurities that I currently have or have had in the past, as well as plastic surgery. In my previous post, you would find that I've been very insecure about my breast size... but I just couldn't imagine going through with getting plastic surgery for that. I fractured my nose a few years ago, and ended up getting surgery on it over a year ago (no, not a nose job).

For this surgery, they broke my nose back into place so I would be able to breathe out of both nostrils. Let me tell you, only being able to breathe out of one nostril is pretty difficult, especially when you're active with sports and such. After the surgery, I had splints up my nose for a week to hold the septum in place. My face also swelled up, causing me to resemble a type of alien in a way. That was one of the most physically painful experiences I have ever gone through, and it just baffles me that there are people (specifically celebrities) out there who choose to go through surgeries to alter the way they look so they can be more attractive. For example, after Heidi Montag underwent multiple plastic surgeries, and she now looks like a completely different person... not to mention a bit fake.

It made me happy that the author of this reading came to accept the size of her nose. I don't have a large nose, but I do have big feet for how short I am. I'm 5'4" and wear a size 9 shoe. It's been an insecurity of mine since elementary school, but I kind of grew out of it... that is, until someone made a comment about it recently. I ran into a girl that I know a few weeks ago at Target. I'm not very good friends with her, but we talk when we see each other. As we were chatting, she looked down at my feet and told me, "You have big feet." It just kind of came out of no where and threw me for a loop because I haven't heard a comment like that since high school. Afterwards, I thought about it more and didn't understand why she thought it'd be okay to say that. I don't know if she was just jealous of the gold sandals I was wearing that she had to make a negative comment or what! Haha.

Everyones bodies are different. If we all looked the same, how boring would that be?
Embrace your differences... because you are beautiful :)

Breast Buds

Breast Buds and the Training Bra was a reading that really stuck out to me because, well... I have definitely struggled with that area of my body since I was probably ten years old. This reading really got me to think back to my middle school years since it talked about girls in junior high. Those years were when girls started puberty, and I was one of those girls who didn't notice any miraculous change in my body until I hit high school. Even in high school, it looked like my body didn't grow much.

I believe I got my first bra when I was in 6th grade, and to be honest, I really didn't need one because I wasn't even starting to develop at that time. I only got one because all the other girls in my grade were already wearing one, and I felt as if I needed to as well. I also wanted to feel a little more grown up. At that age, I dreamed of the day that I would be able to fit into the bras I saw at Victoria's Secret. Thinking back to my middle school days, I realize that I focused a lot on my breasts instead of other areas of my body such as my teeth, legs, butt, stomach, etc...

Thinking I would finally grow to be more womanly in the breast area by the time I was done with high school, I only came to find that I would be disappointed. I am still smaller than the average breast size, and it's difficult to accept this at times... especially when the media portrays that bigger boobs are better, and when people around me are critical. I will admit that I have thought about how wonderful it would be to be able to get a boob job. But then I think about the complications that could take place and the amount of money it would cost. all of which turns me away from that surgery. It would just be nice to have a more womanly figure.

However, I try to focus on parts of my body that I do love, such as the straight teeth I have from wearing braces for three years! It's also important to surround yourself with people who see the beauty you have, instead of those people who continue to be critical toward you or poke fun at you without realizing your feelings. I consider people to be beautiful when they have a loving personality... it really is all about the attitude! :)

Cinderella, the song :)

One of my favorite songs is "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman. This portrays how dads consider their daughters their own little princesses. The lyrics combine the Cinderella fairy tale and real life...  it goes through the little girl's life, bringing her through prom and to her wedding. It's a neat song, and definitely positive!

Here is the song, and it has an advertisement before it starts.

"Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman

"The Cinderella Effect"

Here is an article I found that relates to my previous post and my views about fairy tales. I like how it points out that parents don't need to take their children away from reading fairy tales or watching Disney movies, but they do need to teach them the difference between imaginations and reality. This article focuses on the story of Cinderella, and starts out by discussing the "all stepmothers are evil" myth. To be honest, I would always tell my parents that if they ever remarried, I wouldn't treat my stepparents very well. Keep in mind that I was very young when I said that, and I have grown out of that stage. I never did have to worry about it though since my parents are still together.

Here's the article!

The Cinderella Effect

When did the idea of "princess" change?

After reading the articles for Tuesday's class, it's simple to see that the image/idea of a princess has changed since Disney days.

Growing up, I watched a lot of Disney movies and princesses had the image of being fair, beautiful, good singers, and took life as it was. They went through a lot of trials, but they got through them. They showed compassion and love for others, even when they wouldn't get the same thing in return. A positive attitude seems to be a key asset for Disney princesses. Along with their attitudes, princesses have always been viewed as having the perfect body: thin, clear skin, and beautiful. Although when I was younger, I never paid much attention to their bodies since they were just animation... and I still don't compare my body to animated characters.

Nowadays, I've noticed people calling other girls "princesses" when they act snooty, prissy, and expect things to go their way. Why do we do that when Disney princesses are portrayed as being kind-hearted and unselfish? On the other hand, when we say someone looks like a princess, we are usually saying that she looks gorgeous (in a good way). At least, that's how I look at it. Everyone has their own opinion though, and I'm curious to know other people's thoughts on this.

Some households restrict their children from watching Disney movies for reasons of their own. I've been watching Disney movies my whole life and haven't been affected negatively by them. I really believe it's how parents raise their children and what they teach them. I grew up in a home where I wasn't given a false image of a princess. Even at a young age, I knew the difference between real and imaginative.
 

I love this song...

Since I wasn't able to share my song in class, I thought I'd post it on here with the lyrics :)
The song I chose is "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz, and I believe the lyrics fit perfectly with our unit of women and media.

"Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine says she wants to look that way."

--> With the help of television, magazines, and the Internet, criteria for the latest "in" looks, fads, and fashions are circulating and being updated faster than we can imagine. With all the images and options available, can a teenage ever really be satisfied with the way she looks? I know when I was fourteen, I struggled with this magazine issue. If wandering through malls filled with fashion creates too much temptation for us, then we must find other places to spend our time. Also, if television shows and commercials affect us in negative ways, then we need to find more productive ways to spend our time.

"Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done, anything to get ahead. And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan... only wants what you will do instead."


--> One of the greatest fears that humans face is the fear of not being loved. Society wants us to believe that beauty is the primary requirement to find acceptance and love. Dressing seductively is wrong at any age. If you catch a guy's attention by dressing seductively, what are you telling him about yourself? It's so hard to not feel insecure these days with everything that is floating around in the media. Girls need to learn to respect their bodies, which means not dressing provocatively. We need to realize that beauty really does come from within, and a true man will see that... not just the physical looks.

This song basically tells us to not believe the lies that the media, or other people for that matter, are feeding us. We are all beautiful and we all have a purpose. Below is the song with lyrics :)

"More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz

for the love of media

I enjoyed reading "Women Confronting and Creating Culture" because it sums up the media quite well. I specifically focused my attention on the television section as well as the magazine section.

For television,  the author explains that "television is one of the most influential forms of media." I completely understand where they are coming from because when I was in high school, I felt as if TV ruled my life and how I looked at myself. I would make sure to tune in to shows like Entertainment Tonight and Gossip Girl almost every night, and it really affected the image I had on my body. I wanted to look like the celebrities did, and I wanted to have the ideal celebrity body... which I never felt like I had. I focused closely on my diet and counted calories like crazy. I would also write out what I expected myself to eat each day, but would fail every time. Because I was focused on trying to eat very little, I would end up eating a lot since my thoughts during the day would be directed towards food.

Another form of media that affected me negatively were magazines. I had a subscription to Seventeen and would receive it monthly in the mail. I compared myself to the girls in the magazine and once again, wanted to look like them... even though most of photos are airbrushed. I spent a lot of money on magazines throughout middle school and high school.

Once I got to college, I finally realized that I had an addiction to media... and even having an addiction to media can affect someone negatively. I stopped buying magazines, and I rarely watch television. Since I have limited my access to magazines and TV, I have found that I am much happier with myself compared to when I was in high school. I also listen to music that is more positive, rather than music that focuses on sex, drinking, and materialism. The media is so powerful, and people easily get sucked into it. Don't get me wrong, it is fun to watch movies, TV, and read magazines... but if you start to notice that it's taking over your life, that's when you may need to take a step back.

compassion for all :)

On page 45 at the very end of the page, the author quotes, "We need to move beyond binarism and labels and to have compassion for all." That quote right there made me smile because I couldn't agree with it more! There are a lot of people out there in the world who are hurting because they don't feel like they fit in with the "norm." Just a simple act of kindness to someone you know or someone you don't know could affect them in such a positive way. You never know what kind of day someone is having, what they've gone through in the past, or what they are currently struggling with. 
Here's just a quick example from my life... Last year I worked with a girl who always seemed to be in a negative mood. Instead of having that same attitude toward her, I remained positive and tried not to let her get to me. Eventually, my positive attitude ended up rubbing off on her. My boss and co-workers noticed, and constantly told me the positive effect I had on her. If I would have treated her negatively, it never would have gotten me anywhere. 
**It really is important to treat others how you would like to be treated.**

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something." 

 

Assumptions

I found it interesting to read "Challenging Your Assumptions" on page 63. There was one that really stood out to me: "That is not a very Christian attitude." I think that assumption has an overall negative effect. I have heard many non-Christians make a comment very similar to that when they feel like Christians are judging them. Also, I hear that comment made when non-Christians are being sarcastic or mocking Christians. There are a lot of Christians out there who judge and are very prideful of themselves, but there are also many Christians out there who are the opposite. I grew up going to a Baptist church where I never felt as if I was good enough. Many of the members there constantly judged people from other churches, had a lot of pride in themselves, and rarely accepted new-comers. I got so sick of being judged that I ended up leaving that church, and I now go to a church that is very welcoming and accepting of anyone who steps through their door.
I just think people need to be careful and not be so quick to judge or assume certain things about people they really don't even know.